Unicorn Bites #508

My 4-year-old daughter wants anything she sees in a commercial. Today I had to explain to her why I can’t get her Viagra. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 23, 2014 Navy recruiter: Any experience at […]

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Unicorn Bites 5/17/14

If you still think having kids is a good idea, today my 2-year-old threw a fit because her Velcro is too loud. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 17, 2014 I stopped caring about fashion when […]

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Unicorn Bites 3/26/14

Fair warning: If you invite me to your kid’s birthday party, I will buy him a drum set and a puppy. Leave me out of this. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 26, 2014 Wife: Who […]

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