Unicorn Bites 6/3/14
I ate an entire cake, but it was vanilla instead of chocolate so I’m counting it as a diet food. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 3, 2014 Me: Like my parachute pants? Wife: I […]
I ate an entire cake, but it was vanilla instead of chocolate so I’m counting it as a diet food. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 3, 2014 Me: Like my parachute pants? Wife: I […]
Me: Why are you sitting funny? 4-year-old: I have pinecones in my pants. Me: The key to parenting is not asking follow-up questions. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 27, 2014 Me: Watch out for cars. […]
Me: Pick out shoes. 4-year-old: For today? Me: No, for your college graduation in 18 years. 4: M: 4: But my feet will be bigger then. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 23, 2014 I always […]
Daycare lady: Your 4-year-old pretended to be a Jedi and attacked a kid. Right answer: It won’t happen again. What I said: Was he a Sith? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 21, 2014 My wife […]