The story of how I was allowed to appear intelligent and cultured is not a story that Jeffrey Jacobs Abrams will direct as a film.

I’m not the best oboist. I’m not an oboist at all. The story of how I was allowed to appear intelligent and cultured is not a story that J. J. Abrams will direct as a […]

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Some say it’s a coincidence that I became a vegan at the precise moment that I met Jill Y but I don’t see anything coincidental about it, at all.

If I had a magic bean for every time I said something stupid, I would have a 51% controlling interest in a multinational, magic beanery. Some say it’s a coincidence that I became a vegan […]

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Should you choose to accept this mission…

Dear Donna Cavanagh,   I need a favor. Can you go to the big television store and pick up this big television for me? It’s on sale and there’s big savings to be had. Should […]

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Many evolutionary biologists view inter-species and intra-species competition as the driving force of adaption and ultimately of evolution.

Most of us have a competitive nature. From having the best mono-brow to starting the most amount of fires, it’s human nature to compete. Pennywise, that massively evil clown from Stephen King’s 1990 horror miniseries […]

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Netflix and Chill.

This has not been my most creative day. It hurts more than pain to admit that there are people in the world who sometimes fluke their way into coming up with an idea that I […]

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There’s no way I’m going to be a bold boy this year. There’s far too much riding on it.

I know it’s not Christmas yet but I’ve been a good boy this year and, and, and it’s the world’s safest bike, Santa.

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If I still had my trampoline and wasn’t a ghost, I would so have a chance of getting this, maybe.

Talk about bad timing. I only sold my trampoline last night and now I haven’t got a ghost of a chance.

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