Slow Cooker Dr. Pepper Ham And Mars

American Entree



1 12-ounce can Dr. PepperTM
3 tablespoons brown mustard
¾ cup brown sugar
5 pounds boneless or 5½ pounds bone-in ham


slow cooker

Serves 8. Takes 4 hours 45 minutes.


Add Dr. Pepper, brown mustard, brown sugar, and brown mustard to mixing bowl. Mix with whisk or fork until well blended. Add ham. Turn ham until well coated. Poke holes in ham with toothpick or skewer. Add ham to slow cooker. Ladle Dr. Pepper mixture over ham. Cook on high for 2 hours 15 minutes. Turn ham over. Cook on high for another 2 hours 15 minutes. Slice ham while hot.

That’s it! That’s the length of the ingredients’ list. That’s the length of the preparation; just one paragraph, I love cooking. I find it therapeutic and satisfying. So, I sometimes love complicated and time-consuming dishes. But every one in a while, it’s such fun to make something simple.


1) Ham is red. Dr. Pepper is reddish.

2) Mars is red.

3) Mars is a gigantic Dr. Pepper ham.

4) It was made in a huge slow cooker.

5) Mars has almost no atmosphere. Our Earth has quite a good atmosphere. We’re very proud of it.

6) So, it stands to reason air-breathing Martians came to our planet quite a long time ago.

7) How do we know this? We Earthlings eats lots of ham, just like the Martians. Also, we love MarsTM bars. QED.


Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D.


Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available in paperback or Kindle on

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