Me: Are you a dealer? Him: Obviously. Me: I want cocaine. Him: For the last time, place a bet or leave the casino. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2014 My mom: Your brother got…
All the effort, expense and inconvenience of trying to look attractive are worth it when our significant other gazes at us appreciatively and says tenderly,…
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