Unicorn Bites 6/14/14

Me: Are you a dealer? Him: Obviously. Me: I want cocaine. Him: For the last time, place a bet or leave the casino. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2014 My mom: Your brother got […]
Me: Are you a dealer? Him: Obviously. Me: I want cocaine. Him: For the last time, place a bet or leave the casino. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) June 14, 2014 My mom: Your brother got […]
Wife: I said to dress our toddler in tights Me: I did W: Those are leggings I have no idea what I did wrong, so I apologized & took a nap — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) […]