A Ballroom Filled With Hot Air
Great news for Americans everywhere—or at least a few. You’ll no longer have to wish you had billions, a reality show, or secret Swiss bank accounts. Achieve the look that says, “I have money, status, […]
Tag: #Sparksignites
SPARKS BRIEF: Pumpkin Spice Addiction Sweeps the Nation
Washington, D.C. – The CDC just released a new report on a health crisis that’s out of control. It’s not fentanyl. It’s not oxy. It’s pumpkin spice. Every September, millions of normally stable citizens find […]
SPARKS BRIEF: Cracker Barrel Faces Backlash After Removing the Cracker and the Barrel
Lebanon, TN — Cracker Barrel, America’s favorite roadside museum of old Coke bottles, gingham, and latent nostalgia, has ignited a culinary civil war after announcing a “too woke” rebranding. The new logo—stripped of the “cracker” […]
SPARKS BRIEF: Ghislaine Maxell to Receive Kennedy Center Honors Award
Washington, D.C. – In a bold reimagining of American culture, Donald Trump announced today that convicted sex trafficker Ghislaine Maxwell will receive a 2025 Kennedy Center Honor, citing her “incredible spoken-word skills,” “very beautiful license […]
What’s The Bladder?
I have a personal relationship with my bladder. I know it seems odd. We’re not dating, although it does come along with me everywhere I go. For the most part, it’s a tolerable partnership, except […]
SPARKS BRIEF: We’re Getting the DTs
Washington, DT – The Trumpification of America is in full force. An executive order just issued from the Oval Office will change the name of the US capital from Washington, D.C., to Washington, D.T. “You’re […]
Resolute about Resolutions
Resolution, Resolution, Resolution! It’s that mid-holiday period when people feel the need to come up with a resolution for the new year. This year they’ll eat healthier, read more books, spend more family time, be […]
SPARKS BRIEF: DeSanitizing Education in the Sunshine State
With the new school year starting, Florida Governor Ron DeSantis wants to bring back 18th-century education to universities and colleges. In a speech delivered a few months ago from atop his personal boot hill, the […]
SPARKS BRIEF: Happy Rebirth Day!
San Francisco, CA – Each year everyone receives the same platitude— “Happy Birthday!” As with all humans on the planet, we’ve taken a trip through the birth canal. We’re yanked into a harsh world feeling […]
The Worst of Times
There’s the best of times; there’s the worst of times. Mostly, it’s the worst. I’m talking about Times Square. The place where the ball drops on New Year’s Eve. We all think Times Square is […]