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Author: E. V. Erton

E. V. Erton’s career as a writer spans blogging, books and short stories, corporate communications, journalism, plays and comedy sketches, satirical essays, and TV documentaries. Possibly the best way to trace his career path is to dip a sugared-up fly with ADHD in ink, and let the insect wander around a blank sheet of paper. Comedy has long been a passion. A book of short stories and a play about George Washington crossing the River Delaware are almost ready to attract the first rejections. He would love to get involved in another comedy production and write for The Onion. He lives in Pennsylvania with his wife, two kids, and a dog called Spike who should be named Obnoxious.

Fall Disaster Looms as Pumpkins Threaten Boycott

September 3, 2014 E. V. Erton

The American Union of Pumpkins (AUP) is planning a nationwide work stoppage that could wreck this year’s fall season. The union wants more recognition for its members that is says are classed as unskilled workers […]

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6 CommentsFictionpicket lines, pumpkins in fall, pumpkins on strike, retailers, trade union, work stoppage

A Message From God: Lines Are Open, Call Now

September 2, 2014September 2, 2014 E. V. Erton

I’m an expired catholic and a little rusty on the praying front. In fact, I think the last time I prayed as a paid-up member of a religion was when I asked Saint Martin to […]

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10 CommentsFictioncatholic church, global warming, heaven, ISIS, praying for peace, saints, Ukraine

Stonehenge Mystery Solved. Ancients Used Stones to Catch Some Rays

August 28, 2014 E. V. Erton

Archaeologists have finally solved the mystery of Stonehenge following the discovery of a new structure beneath the famous stones in the United Kingdom. The monument was a tanning salon for ancient Celtic tribes. Stones in […]

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4 CommentsFictionancient mystery, Celtic tribes, stonehenge, sun worship

Vacation Values

August 24, 2014 E. V. Erton

Americans only take about half of the paid vacation days they are eligible for according to a recent survey. The reason is fear: fear of falling behind or losing their jobs or missing something important […]

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2 CommentsFictiondon't take holidays, Europe, paid vacation, the office, work, workaholics

Sayings That Suck or Idiotic Idioms #1

August 22, 2014August 22, 2014 E. V. Erton

I’ve got nothing against the home spun wisdom encapsulated in our favorite sayings, but some of them are so outdated they need to be weeded out. Here’s one that’s long past its expiry date. “You […]

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3 CommentsFictionbanking on truth, foreclosures notices, shady investments, trusting banks, UFO

Accountants’ Hall of Fame Still Waiting to Count Inductee Number One

August 21, 2014 E. V. Erton

A year after is opened in Gray Plains, Graytown, ND, the National Accountants’ Hall of Fame & Museum has yet to draft its first inductee. The organization came close in January when John Graysmith agreed to […]

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1 CommentFictionaccountants, bean counters, Hall of Fame, karaoke, tax time

Satire’s Last Laugh?

August 19, 2014 E. V. Erton

Are satirists about to be pink-slipped because people are finding it too difficult to distinguish fact from fiction? The news that Facebook is testing the use of “satire” tags to help readers tell the difference […]

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8 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestylefacebook, Facebook satire tags, Fox News, laughter, parody, satire

Long-Lost Hoagie Discovered in Receding Glacier

August 18, 2014August 18, 2014 E. V. Erton

Hans Frigidd, Professor of Glacial Movements, Middle Earth University, NC, could not believe his eyes when he saw the hoagie sandwich he  started eating 30 years earlier encased in ice. Frigidd had returned to the […]

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1 CommentFictionAlaska, climate change, disappearing glaciers, glaciers leave treasure, hoagie sandwich, scientists

New Climate Change Threat: Whisker Wildfires

August 15, 2014 E. V. Erton

Fire chiefs across the nation are worried that abnormally hot, dry weather combined with the fashion for long beards could cause a new breed of wildfire. Men are sporting bushy whiskers at a time when […]

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11 CommentsEveryday Life, Fictionbeard burns, firefighters, flames, long beard fashion, New York City, whiskers catching fire, wildfires

Breakfast Sensation Delivers Cereal and Workout Routines in a Box

August 14, 2014 E. V. Erton

The manufacturer of a new breakfast cereal called Cardio Morning Flakes made of the artificial food colorings Scarlet 4, Aquamarine 8Z, and Puce 62, and corn syrup, hydrodexitrine monosyllablate, sugar concentrate, salt, more sugar, saturated […]

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7 CommentsFictionartificial colorings, body building, breakfast cereal, exercise while eating, healthy heart, whole grain

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