My Resolutions For You In 2018
Every year I make New Year’s resolutions and every year I break them. So this year I’m trying something different — resolutions for other people. Hey world — here are the changes I’d like to […]
Author: Roz Warren
Roz Warren, who writes for everyone from The New York Times to The Funny Times, is the author of Our Bodies, Our Shelves: Library Humor and Just Another Day At Your Local Public Library: An Insider's Tales of Library Life, which make terrific gifts for your favorite librarian or other bookish person.
Mr. Creeping Hands, Gum-Popping Granny and Crabby Newspaper Guy: Welcome To Your Local Library
At the library where I work, we have an incredibly challenging patron whose imperious demands, unpleasant attitude and relentless sense of entitlement annoy and depress us all so much that we’ve nicknamed her “Sunshine.” (Never […]
A Librarian By Any Other Name
Library work has changed a lot over the years. Should our job title change with it? A group of librarians I know recently put their heads together and came up with this (not entirely serious) […]
Hey Old Lady! Want To Buy A Reverse Mortgage?
Facebook just hit me with an ad for coping with memory loss, probably because I recently turned 63. As far as my favorite social media site is concerned, I am now an Old Lady. Curious, […]
I Just Took A Peek At My Ex-Boyfriend’s Online Dating Profile
The first thing I noticed was that all of the flattering photos he’s posted of himself were taken by me. In the photos, Mike looks like the man I saw him as — clever and […]
Hug A Zucchini — It’s World Vegan Day!
It’s World Vegan Day! I was wondering how my friends and family were planning to observe this momentous day, so I posted this query on my Facebook page: November First is World Vegan Day. What […]
Swimming Pools, Silent Noodles And The ACLU: What I Learned From Magazines This Week
The correct term for mobile phone separation anxiety is nomophobia. (Time. 9/4/17) Henry David Thoreau was fond of belting out sea shanties at parties. (The New Yorker, 9/4/17) The best way to befriend famous people […]
I’d Be Happy To Date You When Hell Freezes Over — One Single Librarian’s Collection Of Online Dating Profile Turnoffs
Shirtless pics. Headless pics. Bathroom selfies Gym selfies. Anything camo or Trump-related. Any photo of a dude with a fish or a dead deer. Spelling mistakes and grammatical errors. (I can’t help it — I […]
Elvis, Mosquitoes & Marilyn Monroe — What I Learned From Magazines This Week
Leonard Bernstein believed that Elis Presley was the greatest cultural force of the 20th century. (Time, 08/21/17) For actor Will Smith, losing his virginity wasn’t as exciting as watching Star Wars. (People, 08/07/17) A Japanese […]
Bookmarks From Hell — A List of Unsavory, Alarming and Downright Nasty Things Librarians Have Recently Found in Library Books
A dead frog A used band-aid A squashed and leaking Ketchup packet. Bedbugs A tampon Toe nail clippings Dozens of baby roaches A slice of bacon Boogers A used Q-Tip A used condom (and it […]