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Author: Marcus Bales

Not much is known about Marcus Bales except he lives in Cleveland, Ohio, and his poems have not been published in Poetry or The New Yorker.

The Eighty-Sixing of Sarah Huckabee Sanders

June 25, 2018July 2, 2018 Marcus Bales

Listen, my children, I’ll tell it again The tale of the valiant little Red Hen, But that will be the very last time, Since Stephanie Wilkinson doesn’t rhyme With anything, and only slanders Rhyme with […]

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1 CommentPolitics86, Eighty-sixed, humor, Red Hen, Sarah Huckabee Sanders, satire, Trump

We Arrest

April 1, 2017April 1, 2017 Marcus Bales

Hear Mike Whitney sing it here: https://www.facebook.com/mikewhitneymusic/videos/1303307723085422/ We arrest, we arrest Anyone who’s oddly dressed — Put your hands behind your back ’cause you’re about to be oppressed. You can run but you can’t hide, And […]

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Fiction, Lifestyle, Politicshumor, immigration. politics, political humor, satire

The Battle Hymn of the Bowling Green Massacre

February 5, 2017 Marcus Bales

No eyes have seen a massacre occur at Bowling Green As non-existent soldiers met with students never seen Where Kellyanne’s imagination lit her silver screen Her lies go marching on. Dilatory allegory Predatory oratory Don’t […]

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1 CommentEveryday Life, Fiction, Good Clean Fun, Lifestyle, PoliticsBowling Green, filk, funny poem, Humo, Kellyanne Conway, parody, poetry, Trumpishness

Battle Hymn of the Trumpublic

January 19, 2017January 19, 2017 Marcus Bales

Mine eyes have seen the Donald coming down out of his Tower With his asshole lips all puckered like he’s tasted something sour; Oh and look his hair is yellow from a hooker’s golden shower. […]

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1 CommentFiction, Good Clean Fun, Politicsfilk, funny, humor, parody, politics, Trump

Debugging

January 16, 2017 Marcus Bales

Aroused for not a mere four hours My hard-on lasted days and days. What sounds like penis super-powers Just hurts as if the thing’s ablaze. The doctor gave my turgid stiffy A gentle double-fingered tap […]

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Everyday Life, Fiction, Good Clean Fun, Lifestyledoctor, erection, funny, humor, longer than four hours, medical

Golden Showers / Boy / In the End

January 12, 2017 Marcus Bales

Once you got away with talking bullshit Once you got away with talking bull Bleat, little Trumpy, bleat and lie And I will mock you as you cry. Golden showers make you thrill, Smile when […]

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Good Clean Fun, Politicsfunny, humor, poem, politics, Trump

My Way by Donald J. Trump

January 5, 2017January 5, 2017 Marcus Bales

And now, I’ve won the race, Thanks to my pal Vladimir Putin And though that’s a disgrace At least at State I don’t put Newt in. I’ve lied, and cheated too, to get my wealth […]

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2 CommentsGood Clean Fun, Politicsfilk, funny, humor, parody, poem, poetry, satire, song

Ballade of the Climate Change Deniers

January 3, 2017 Marcus Bales

We’re urged to work hard to provide a good world for posterity, But sharing more fairly is something we ought to discuss. And why is it us who’s responsible for their prosperity? The time may […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Life, Good Clean Fun, Politicscomedy, funny, humor, poem, poetry, satire

Auto-correction Has a Dirty Mind

January 1, 2017January 2, 2017 Marcus Bales

Is it just me or do you find in auto-correct a dirty mind? There seems to be no phrase it won’t pervert. It’s substituting ‘limb’ for ‘lime’ and ‘hard’ for ‘had’ and ‘clit’ for ‘climb’ […]

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3 CommentsEveryday Life, Good Clean Fun, Lifestyle, Technologycomedy, funny, humor, satire

Camelot: C’est Blanc!

December 22, 2016December 22, 2016 Marcus Bales

BANNON: Scamalot! Scamalot! From far alt.right I smelled you there. Scamalot! Scamalot! In great regard I held you there. If I had a soul I’d be a coprolite — But now it’s enough that I […]

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Politics, Writers#politics, Donald J. Trump, funny politics, humorous poems, liberal politics, poem, poems

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