Unicorn Bites 8/20/13
Anyone who thinks the sound of chambering a shotgun round is the best way to scare off a burglar must not own a chainsaw. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 20, 2013 Just once […]
The Internet: Sucked Into Stalking An Ex
Do you ever get shop-vacced into an abyss where anything is possible, nothing ever happens, and time has no meaning? I do. It started twelve minutes after I got my first computer. I am a woman of indefatigable online searches. In the throes of […]
Problem Solved
I remember being in the pew at my Catholic church when I was thirteen. The time would come for the Monsignor to deliver his sermon. I’d brace myself for a story that held zero relevance […]
Closed Shop
Confusion reigns supreme in everything I do, say or do say. I’m not complaining. It is what it is and I’m perfectly at ease with my countless inadequacies. When brains were being handed out, I […]
Unicorn Bites 8/19/13
We have 100s of photos of our 1st kid. We have like 12 of our 2nd kid. We could have a 3rd kid I don’t know about b/c we never took any pics — James […]
The New World of Wrestling: Catfighting
Often I wonder…well, not often… maybe once…honestly, it was about 30 minutes ago…how can we “class up” wrestling? I know what you’re thinking: Why fool with perfection? But sometimes you just have to take that […]
Vacation with the Royal Goat: A Script
Ever gone on family vacation? We have. Here is a script of what our morning looked like the day we left for a 10-day vacation to French Canada. It doesn’t need much introduction…. The eve […]
Dear Tommy: One-Time Advice For Soon-To-Be-Married Bros
My thirteenth wedding anniversary is approaching. And no, I’m not talking about a one-year anniversary with my thirteenth wife. So, I’ve got the experience and knowledge required to write this column. Okay, with that out […]
They Like My Cmedy in India
The India Times used to run my India sports related articles from time to time. Bleacher Report even awarded the “Favorite Cricket Writer of the Month” once. Now, I find one of my stand-up you […]
A Little Scurvy
To the best of my limited knowledge, I’m the only one who writes about Scurvy Jane and that’s nothing but a shame. Born to parents, little Scurvy J stood out from the rest of the […]