Unicorn Bites 12/26/13
Me: Where’s Ken? 3-year-old daughter: He broke up with Barbie. Then a T. rex ate him. I pity any boy who ever dates my little girl. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 26, 2013 […]
Tag: daddy
Unicorn Bites 11/24/13
Wife: "It’s colder than a witch’s tits." Me: "I wouldn’t know. You never let me touch them." And that’s when she ripped off my balls. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 24, 2013 My […]
Unicorn Bites 11/23/13
3-year-old: “Where’s your beard?” Me: “It’s gone?! Is it in your pocket?” 3: “Daddy…” Me: 3: Me: 3: Me: 3: *checks pockets* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 23, 2013 Oh, you married a […]
Books For Children Should Keep It Real
There are a lot of children’s books out there trying to teach the little tykes valuable lessons. Sure it’s important to learn to share and where to poop and all, but I think today’s children […]