***Unconfirmed Breaking News*** The White House Just Announced A Bespectacled, Mustached Dude As The New Director of The FBI…

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TRUMP VOWS TO AVENGE WISCONSIN PRIMARY LOSS; GOVERNOR AGREES

ALLENTOWN, PA—After nearly being shut out of the Wisconsin primary, and losing all but 6 of its delegates to opponent Ted Cruz, Donald Trump vowed to avenge his loss by waterboarding all those “fat, disgusting […]

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