Posts Tagged ‘ running ’

Pills!

November 3, 2017
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Pills, pills, pills! Just watch the TV ads in the evening! There is a pill for everything! I swear that diseases are made up just so Big Pharma can sell you more pills! Did you…

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Marilyn Monroe, Frank Sinatra And A Nice Hot Bath: What I Learned From Magazines This Week

April 30, 2017
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Actress Rita Moreno wakes up humming. People (5/1/17) Riding a roller coaster with your partner makes you more attractive to each other. People (5/1/17) The image on the commemorative stamp the Central African Republic recently…

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The Realist’s Workout

February 6, 2015
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At first blush, it seemed like my boss had done me a huge favor by letting me off early last week. What a great opportunity. I could catch up on some errands, do some banking…

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Unicorn Bites #544

November 10, 2014
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4-year-old: What’s hope? Me: The first stage of disappointment. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2014 How women plan a party: 1) Pick a theme 2) Make decorations 3) Cook festive foods How men plan…

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New Missions?

March 27, 2014
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New Missions?

Are these soldiers: a) Fleeing to their barracks because George W. Bush has just started his “Mission Accomplished” speech? b) Victors in a game of Capture The Flag? Or c) Doing a foot race to…

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Unicorn Bites 11/29/13

November 29, 2013
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When I hear about shoppers who die on Black Friday, I worry because my mom is out there right now & she’s probably the one who killed them. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 29, 2013…

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Unicorn Bites 11/16/13

November 16, 2013
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Wife: Does this shirt make me look pregnant? Me: No, it makes you look fat. Just once, it’d be nice if my brain and mouth worked together. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 16, 2013 My…

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Unicorn Bites 9/29/13

September 29, 2013
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I envy kids in highchairs. I want to eat something so intensely I have to be strapped in. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) September 29, 2013 Police shouldn’t use dogs. There are other trainable, ferocious animals…

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The True Olympics

July 16, 2012
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I can’t watch the Olympics. All that jumping, climbing and running. Exhausting. When does the Lying Down Olympics start? Suzy SoroIf you're a fan of Seinfeld you'll remember me as the woman who got the…

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