Resolutions I Ought to Make But Probably Won’t
For years now, my one New Year’s resolution has been to make no resolutions. This year will be different, because I will at least think of some things that ought to be done better in […]
Tag: absurd
Questions NOT for the Ages
1. If the Big Dipper were to tip over, would it pour water onto the earth? 2. If an astronaut gets burned out and quits, is he spaced out? 3. Why are there dippers in […]
It’s Float Night!
Our pool club sent out an email stating they are closed for 24 hours due to a poop found floating in the pool. However, they also stated that they will still be open for their […]
Common sense is the flame that sleeps with the number 4
When you’ve had a hard day at the office of the world, mass confusion reigns supreme and marries you against your will. During the day, decisions have to be made and it’s these decisions that […]
Attack of the Otter
Earlier this week, a Minnesota woman was bit 25 times by an otter while training for a triathlon in a local pond. But if I can just play critter’s advocate here, she really shouldn’t have […]
Eight Reasons Why I Would Have Made a Great Fairy Tale Princess if Someone Had Only Given Me the Chance
1. I could sing “Someday My Prince Will Come” in the original key. I still can. 2. I could do a slow two-step waltz that was pretty respectable – well, at least as long as […]
It’s Weiner Wednesday
One of our local shops here is calling today “Weiner Wednesday.” Apparently, it’s a day where you can get a great deal on a hot dog, however, a great deal on a Weiner really means: […]
The Courtship of Prince Nigel
Prince Nigel is the Queen’s second cousin, twice removed (twice removed, forcibly, from Buckingham Palace. He now lives in Battersea). After leaving school, Prince Nigel settled into his bedsit with his collection of anoraks and […]
Cramp Week on PMSN
Check your local listings! Join us for Cramp Week on PMSN, where on Monday, we will discover how many shades of red leave stains and which ones can actually be removed if you catch […]
Flying Pantyhosed Chubster Lives the Dream and So Can You
Meet the Dance Master. A master of the dance. He’s a flexibly soaring, happy man, with a satiated belly and a sexy pair of black pantyhose. It takes strength of character to go against the […]