Remember That Time You Forgot To Think?

If you’ve come here looking for an amusing story, please go away. If you’ve come here looking to hear how much we detest Bon Jovi, please go away and come back tomorrow. If you’ve come […]

Share this Post:

I’ve Changed.

I’m a sorry excuse of an individual. Back in the day, my dog and I used to bark at those hipsters with their complete lack of understanding of irony. Slim Shady would bark “get out […]

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 1/27/14

3-year-old: Daddy, what is your job? Me: I sit in a cubicle all day and try not to be sad. 3: Apparently I was supposed to lie. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2014 *1-year-old […]

Share this Post:

Real Duty

In life there are certain universal truths. For example, if a job posted on Craigslist promises “a six-figure salary”, you’ll discover during the interview that that includes the numbers after the decimal point. Or similarly, […]

Share this Post:

One minute you’re questioning life and wondering if you’re as random as the next guy isn’t and then your imaginary son goes and does you proud.

One minute you’re questioning life and wondering if you’re as random as the next guy isn’t and then your imaginary son goes and does you proud:

Share this Post:

Unicorn Bites 1/26/14

Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2014 Sure, random teenager, you have swag, but only if “swag” means […]

Share this Post:

Hit the road Mac

When I was a baby, I couldn’t talk with words. This was so frustrating because I’ve always been massively opinionated so it’s important that you know what I think about stuff. This was never more […]

Share this Post: