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A&E Network Shocked That Redneck in Redneck Reality Show Holds Redneck Beliefs

December 19, 2013
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A&E Network Shocked That Redneck in Redneck Reality Show Holds Redneck Beliefs

The A&E Television Network has suspended a leading redneck in their wildly popular reality show about rednecks doing redneck things. In a recent magazine interview, the leading redneck was quoted as saying the types of…

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Man Paralyzed and Left For Dead Pretty Sure God Has Special Plan For Him

December 18, 2013
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Man Paralyzed and Left For Dead Pretty Sure God Has Special Plan For Him

Atlanta, Georgia resident Robert Fitzsimmons is recovering in an area hospital after awaking from a coma he lapsed into after suffering a brutal beating during a home invasion which also resulted in the malicious deaths…

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Man Wearing “Come and Take it” Shirt Has Very Little Worth Taking

December 17, 2013
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Man Wearing “Come and Take it” Shirt Has Very Little Worth Taking

Gary Brantley, of the suburbs of Del Rio, Texas, has a message for everyone. Come and Take It. He’s not entirely sure to whom the message is directed, but he really means it. “Everybody, I…

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Los Angeles Porsche Club Mourns The Loss of Another Carrera GT, “Far Too Soon”

December 5, 2013
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Los Angeles Porsche Club Mourns The Loss of Another Carrera GT, “Far Too Soon”

The Greater Los Angeles Area Porsche Club gathered yesterday in a somber affair to mourn the loss of yet another Porsche Carrera GT. The Porsche Carrera GT is a mid-engined sports car that was manufactured…

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Stepdad Tells Baby Jesus to Quit His Crying or He’ll Give Him Something to Cry About

December 4, 2013
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Stepdad Tells Baby Jesus to Quit His Crying or He’ll Give Him Something to Cry About

After years of the hearing about all of the things that make the baby Jesus cry, stepfather Joseph has reportedly broken his silence and laid down the law. “Seriously, kid. Crying again? Gay marriage…Violence on…

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Rookie Lawyer Quits Firm After Team-Building Sexual Assault Gone Awry

November 14, 2013
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Rookie Lawyer Quits Firm After Team-Building Sexual Assault Gone Awry

Rookie lawyer Jonathan Morton has taken an abrupt leave of absence from law firm “Fondlam, Holden, and Wang” after what friends of Morton are calling a “violent team-building sexual assault gone awry.” Morton is believed…

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Incognito Denies Bullying, Says He’ll Kick Anyone’s Ass Who Says Otherwise

November 4, 2013
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Incognito Denies Bullying, Says He’ll Kick Anyone’s Ass Who Says Otherwise

Suspended Miami Dolphin Richie Incognito has denied any hazing or bullying of teammate Jonathan Martin at any time this season. Martin recently left the team after reportedly having had enough of behavior directed at him…

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Fox News Host Laments Gassing of Jews By Nazis, But Says “Both Sides” To Blame

October 22, 2013
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Fox News Host Laments Gassing of Jews By Nazis, But Says “Both Sides” To Blame

Recent Fox & Friends addition Elisabeth Hasselbeck spent some time discussing the Holocaust with her co-hosts Steve Doocy and Brian Kilmeade on Monday. During the piece, she lamented the horror of the Holocaust but said…

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Owner of Danville Darkies Still Refuses To Change Team Name

October 14, 2013
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Owner of Danville Darkies Still Refuses To Change Team Name

DANVILLE, SOUTH CAROLINA – Owner Fran Widener of the South Carolina Minor League baseball Danville Darkies is refusing to change the team’s name even as pressure mounts to switch to a name that is more,…

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Despite 1265 Likes and 682 Supportive Comments on Facebook, Possibly Hot Former Classmate Still Seems Distant

October 4, 2013
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Despite 1265 Likes and 682 Supportive Comments on Facebook, Possibly Hot Former Classmate Still Seems Distant

Middle-aged man Brad Taylor has been a user of Facebook since 2007, but he’s recently become disillusioned by the social network. He had long hoped that he could use Facebook to reconnect with attractive females…

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