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  • Lloyd Garver

Author: Lloyd Garver

I was fortunate to be involved in one of the Golden Ages of Television comedy. I wrote and produced television shows ranging from "Sesame Street" to "The Bob Newhart Show" to "Family Ties" to Home improvement" to "Frasier." (I've also read many books, some of them in hardcover). I grew up in Chicago, went to college at the University of California at Berkeley, and got my Masters at Northwestern. Then I followed my dream to become a serious writer… by driving to Hollywood and getting a job writing questions and "ad lib" jokes for the game show, "Hollywood Squares."I wrote spec scripts in my spare time while I was toiling away at "Hollywood Squares," and after a few years sold my first to a show called, "Love, American Style." After that, I was lucky enough to continue to write for many comedies for the next 30 years or so. However, I always had an interest in writing essays and columns. An early "My Turn" column for "Newsweek" about the evils of Nintendo resulted in my being a guest on "Oprah." I assume that she will support me if I ever run for President.I have been a weekly humor and opinion columnist since 2001. I have written columns for "The Kansas City Kansan," "The Denver Post," "The Santa Monica Daily Press," "The San Francisco Examiner," Crawford Texas' "The Lone Star Iconoclast," and the "The Jewish Journal." My column has also run on line on CBSnews.com and I wrote a sports column for SportsLine.com. It has also been syndicated to hundreds of papers and sites. I was also recently honored by the National Society of Newspaper Columnists for a column I wrote about the NCAA final four tournament. In this age of suspicion, I feel compelled to give you a guarantee about me. I swear that I have never written a column or a script while on steroids or other performance-enhancing drugs. All right, once I took a swig of some Human Growth Hormone, but it gave me gas.

POLITICS AND SPORTS

April 1, 2016April 1, 2016 Lloyd Garver

  I’m trying just to focus on the games and ignore the Presidential Campaign, but politics is invading every facet of our lives, even the sacred Final Four. Rumor has it that Hillary Clinton has […]

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3 CommentsGood Clean Fun, Lifestyle, SportsCruz, funny, Hillary, humor, HumorOutcasts.com, Kasich, Lloyd Garver, March Madness, NCAA, politics, Sanders, Trump

Sex Toys “R” Us

February 16, 2015February 16, 2015 Lloyd Garver

    We are accustomed to many children’s movies making some extra bucks through commercial tie-ins or merchandising. So it’s not surprising that just as the current “SpongeBob” movie was released, little SpongeBob fans began […]

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2 CommentsFiction50 Shades of Grey, babies, Lloyd Garver, Surf Laundry Detergent, Target, toys, valentines day

Let The Dogs Out

November 6, 2014November 6, 2014 Lloyd Garver

You are probably aware that last week two members of the Secret Service’s K-9 unit thwarted a would-be White House intruder. Considering all of the recent bungling by the Secret Service and the understandable bad […]

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Lifestyledogs, humor, humoroutcasts, Hurricane, Jordan, k-9, Lloyd Garver, Osama Bin Laden, President of the United States, secret service, TMZ, twitter, white house

I Miss Shaking Hands

October 2, 2014October 2, 2014 Lloyd Garver

Someday in the not-too-distant future, many of us will startle our grandchildren by telling them that once upon a time, friends would meet for lunch, shake hands, and then eat without washing those hands after […]

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3 CommentsLifestyleflu, funny, germs, hands, human beings, humor, humoroutcasts, Lloyd Garver, paranoia, shaking hands, swine flu

And The NCAA Tournament Champion Is..

April 4, 2014April 4, 2014 Lloyd Garver

  Okay, you didn’t win a billion dollars. You’re not alone. Not one person in the Billion Dollars Warren Buffett Quicken Loans Pick All The Winners contest won. So Warren didn’t have to pay out. […]

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1 CommentLifestyle, Sportsfinal four, funny, humor, humoroutcasts, Lloyd Garver, NCAA Basketball

Cars That Drive People

December 31, 2013December 31, 2013 Lloyd Garver

      Lately, the news has been full of stories about “automatic cars.” Supposedly, these are the cars of the not so distant future. Basically, they will be able to drive themselves, freeing us […]

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4 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestyleautomatic cars, driverless cars, drivers, flipping off other drivers, Forbes, funny, humor, humoroutcasts, kids, Lloyd Garver, road rage, technology

A Whole New Ball Game

October 19, 2013October 19, 2013 Lloyd Garver

  I went to a Major League baseball game recently, and it wasn’t what I was used to. Pitchers didn’t try to hit batters in the head with a 90 mile per hour pitch. Fans […]

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2 CommentsBaseball, Lifestyle, Sportsbaseball, brawls, clean bathrooms, good behavior, humoroutcasts, Japan, Lloyd Garver, MLB, no brawls, no litter, whole new ballgame

Year ‘Round Spirit?

December 6, 2012December 6, 2012 Lloyd Garver

    Traditionally, right around now, many people ask, “Why can’t we have this kind of spirit all year long?” My answer to that is, “We do, and soon we’ll have even more of it.” […]

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2 CommentsEveryday Life, LifestyleChristmas, commercialism, corporations, gatorade, holidays, humor, iPhone, MTV, Nike, viagra

I Could’ve Been Dr. Phil

December 2, 2012December 2, 2012 Lloyd Garver

This might surprise you, but I was not invited to Oprah Winfrey’s two-day party that celebrated her 25-year-old show ending. I’m sure I would have enjoyed hanging out with people like Aretha Franklin, Tom Cruise, […]

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7 CommentsEveryday Life, Lifestyle, Movies & TVauthors, Dr. Phil, humor, launching careers, Midwestern University, Oprah, Oprah and Dr. Phil, Oprah making stars, Oprah Winfrey

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