Unicorn Bites 3/25/14
Ladies, only move in with guys who own cats. They’ve already been trained to serve small, ungrateful creatures who think they own the place — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2014 Justin Bieber is awfully […]
The Place to Take a Humor Break
Ladies, only move in with guys who own cats. They’ve already been trained to serve small, ungrateful creatures who think they own the place — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 25, 2014 Justin Bieber is awfully […]
Many people my age had parents who thought it was a smart idea to feed their children liver. They knew it was a good source of iron, something everyone needed. Once a month […]
It’s safe to assume that we don’t know how the world really works. Consider something like this — you’re walking in the yard and you step on a rake, causing the handle to whip up […]
Wife: Are you OK to drive? Me: I passed a breathalyzer. Wife: That’s your iPhone, and you licked it. Me: Are you a cop? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 24, 2014 3-year-old: What happened to […]
I reached for an US magazine on the table in the customer lounge of my Ford Dealership. The lounge—they make it sound as if there is a bartender on duty offering Apple Martinis as a […]
I recently had the mundane pleasure of spending the day in Arcadia, California. For those of you that have never heard of this San Gabriel Valley suburb of Los Angeles, let me try and help. […]
The other day I was walking around at the gym, holding a small fire-extinguisher. The manager walked up to me and said “Hey man, what’s with the fire extinguisher?” To which I replied “My workouts […]
Today’s story is a story of a man who against the odds, conquered adversity and ended up getting his wish. We decided it was time for the entire collective to go on holiday. We had […]
3-year-old daughter: I have 2 boyfriends Me: No, you have 2 friends who are boys 3: I’ll marry them Good luck doing that from the convent — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 23, 2014 I sent […]