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Tag: absurd

The War of the Future

December 5, 2011December 5, 2011 Simon Ellinas
Bri-Nylon Cardigan

In this shallow, celeb-obsessed age, as style frequently wins the war over substance, your eagle-eyed visionary can foresee the types of conflict the world is heading towards. APRIL 2044, LONDON. The Channel War is well […]

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2 CommentsGood Clean Funabsurd, comedy, fashion, fun, funny, funny stories, humor, humour, stupid, war, writing

Time travel and other concerns

November 11, 2011November 11, 2011 Simon Ellinas
Cliff Richard

STICK WITH WHAT you’re good at. That has always been the advice of my young friend, Maxim. I have always been very careful to maintain a career in cartoons, caricature and comic writing. If I […]

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Good Clean Funabsurd, british humour, cliff richard, comedy, funny, funny stories, humor, simon ellinas, stupid

Clown For Hire

November 6, 2011November 6, 2011 Wilma Jammer

Name: Fuckles the Clown Age: Old Type: Not so freaking happy Skills: Can pull anything out of her ass Traits: Drunk Props: Vodka bottle (filled with the real thing), instrument for her main trick (see […]

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Everyday Life, Fiction, Lifestyleabsurd, clown, clown for hire, clowns, comedy, fiction, fun, funny, funny stories, humor, stupid, writing

Boo hoo!

October 20, 2011 Wilma Jammer

When we were kids, we used to throw darts at the Ayatolla Kohmeni. The poster was in our basement, and who knows where we actually got a poster of him, but all my dad had […]

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Fictionabsurd, comedy, enemies, funny, funny stories, gadaffi, kadafi, qadafi, world news

Random Thought 21

October 16, 2011October 19, 2011 Jarod Kintz

I want my kids to have the things in life that I never had when I was growing up. Things like beards and chest hair.

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1 CommentDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, beards, jarod kintz, kids

Random Thought 18

October 14, 2011October 15, 2011 Jarod Kintz

I want to write a poem about “Truth,” “Honor,” “Dignity,” and whether the toilet paper should roll over or under when you pull on it.

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1 CommentDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, dignity, honor, jarod kintz, random thought, truth

Random Thought 15

October 13, 2011October 13, 2011 Jarod Kintz

Love is a bicycle with two pancakes for wheels. You may see love as more of an exercise in hard work, but I see it as more of a breakfast on the go.

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, bizarre, breakfast, jarod kintz, love, strange, surreal, weird

Random Thought 14

October 13, 2011October 13, 2011 Jarod Kintz

I want to gather up all the ink cartridges in the universe, because somewhere, mixed in with all that ink, is the next great American novel. And I’d love nothing more than to drink it.

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Daily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, bizarre, crazy, drink, great american novel, ink, jarod kintz, strange, surreal, weird, write, writing

Random Thought 13

October 13, 2011October 13, 2011 Jarod Kintz

I can tell if two people are in love by how they hold each other’s hands, and how thick their sanitation gloves are.

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2 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, bizarre, jarod kintz, love, ridiculous, sanitation gloves, strange

Random Thought 12

October 12, 2011October 13, 2011 Jarod Kintz

I used to date the lead singer of The Cranberries, but she cheated on me. Turns out she had some turkey on the side.

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3 CommentsDaily Musings / Joke of The Dayabsurd, cheating, crazy, dating, jarod kintz, strange, the cranberries

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