I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
Jill Y couldn’t find the iPad and asked if I knew where it was. I told her I definitely knew something about it alright. I told her that it was eaten by a car and […]
Tag: funny
After Reading Several Books by HumorOutcasts Authors, I Decided It Was Time to Revise My Biography
My mother named me Kathryn, which was good, because it was a girl’s name. Being a girl, I was happy not to be saddled with a name like Gene, which I could have ended up […]
One Less Plate
It’s well documented that I don’t know too much about anything but I’m happy and that’s all that really matters. That just makes it hard to understand why Jill Y insists on setting me riddles […]
Small Plates, Big Problems
I don’t know how it is where you people live, but lately dining out in Los Angeles has made me think that all the restaurants have banded together and decided I’m too fat and are […]
Unicorn Bites 7/10/14
4-year-old daughter: Why don’t you wear makeup? Me: Because I don’t need to. I’m a boy. 4: Do you like to be ugly? — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 10, 2014 4-year-old: Will you buy me […]
A Catholic Kid’s Semi-Rotten Childhood: Catholics vs. Everybody Else
In the 50s and 60s, we Catholics divided the human race into two groups: Catholics and non-Catholics. Non-Catholics included Christians of other denominations, which we lumped together under “Protestants.”* We didn’t know the difference between […]
The Ultimate Philosophy School
You don’t have any money so you can’t spend any money. You want to go to Philosophy School but you’re only on season 1 of Breaking Bad. Every time you accidentally hear the sound of […]
Unicorn Bites 7/9/14
Boss: How long were you in the bathroom? Me: Not long. Boss: The motion-sensing lights shut off on you. Me: I noticed that when I woke up — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 9, 2014 What […]
Dear NSA: No Need To Spy on Me
Once again, we have learned that the NSA has been spying on Americans. The reason for the spying seems to be certain people’s political affiliations and personal associations. So, just in case the NSA thinks […]