Resolutions I Ought to Make But Probably Won’t
For years now, my one New Year’s resolution has been to make no resolutions. This year will be different, because I will at least think of some things that ought to be done better in […]
For years now, my one New Year’s resolution has been to make no resolutions. This year will be different, because I will at least think of some things that ought to be done better in […]
I’ll bet you thought you were free of these. 1. If your cat is a Bon Jovi fan, don’t let anybody know. It is a shameful family secret that must never be revealed to the […]
NOTE: Nobody told me to stop giving advice about how to be funny after I wrote Chapter 1, so I am taking that as a sign that I will not be hit over the head […]
1. If you must call your boss a frog f***ing freak of nature, do not do it on Facebook. 2. If you must cuss in the office, do it in a language that nobody there […]
I know. I did this before, here: What Would Heathcliff Buy? . Well, I’m bored again and my mind is wandering down strange roads. Here are the fruits of today’s mental meanderings. Let us take […]
You have to admit that some of the expressions that Americans use to describe people or comment on the state of things are pretty interesting. I have made a list of some of them, and, […]
It isn’t advisable to tell your boss to take the project he just assigned you and shove it up his ass. He might shove it up yours instead. It would be awfully embarrassing to have […]
1. When you are out walking your dog at night, try not to squash any rats with your foot. It will feel really slimy and squishy, you will splatter rat innards on the sidewalk, it […]
1. If you are feeling dizzy, weak and nauseous, you are probably sick. 2. If you are probably sick and, instead of doing the smart thing (i.e. staying home and killing whatever freaking bug you […]
1. Even if only two people are together in one room, they will not be able to agree on what to watch on TV. 2. The best way to enliven your wardrobe is to go […]