Doh! Tannenbaum…
It’s time to put up the tree again. I know this because my wife has been dropping those subtle hints for a few days now – watching Bing and Danny and Rosemary and Vera on […]
Gates of Long-Awaited Heaven-Plus to Open on January 15th
For millennia, Heaven has been the destination of choice for the virtuous deceased. Now there’s a better option. Next month, Celestial Enterprises (CE) — owner of Disney+, HBO Max, and ESPN+ — will debut Heaven-Plus, […]
Donald Trump and the New York Jets
The New York Jets announced that they have hired Donald Trump as their new head coach. “Donald Trump is the only person who can look at our winless 0-13 record and not only get […]
Pope OKs White Lights for Catholic Christmas Trees
VATICAN CITY. In a move Vatican observers say is the next step in his liberalization of church dogma, Pope Francis I yesterday approved the use of all-white strings of lights on Christmas trees in Catholic homes, ending […]
My Labyrinthitis is acting up … whatever that is
I sat in shock as the doctor, his face somber, informed me that I had Acute Eustachian Salpingitis. Worse, it was accompanied by Labyrinthitis. You can imagine my reaction. Why me? Why now? What is […]
Wisdom for Dummies
You probably know you should have a spare key to your vehicle. But did you also know you should never, ever leave it IN the vehicle.
As Pandemic Drags On, “Poets of COVID” Are Running Out of Rhymes
FRAMINGHAM, Mass. This suburb of Boston is known for its many shopping malls and franchise food outlets, but not for its poetry. “We ain’t exactly Greenwich Village,” says long-time Assistant Commissioner of Curb Cuts Mike […]