Scalia in Heaven
“After all I’ve done for them, this is how they treat me?” moaned Justice Scalia, wringing his hands. “Stop kvetching,” said Justice Brandeis, “At least you’re up here. Not down there with the rest of […]
Tag: Donald Trump
Batshit Crazy Republicans
It’s stupid season again which means it’s time for our list of Batshit Crazy Republicans for 2016. Sarah Palin She’s not running this year, but Palin’s endorsement speech for Donald Trump broke new ground in the […]
Ted Cruz Saves America with a Coloring Book
Ted Cruz endorsed a coloring book, which is selling like crazy, which shows him to be the super hero who saves America. Everyone should buy this book, color it in with patriotic colors and eat […]
NYT: Trump Picks Palin as Veep
http://gty.im/114965052 The New York Times says Donald Trump told them Sarah Palin would be his vice-president. Well played, Mr. Trump, if you ever want an out all you have to say, as you did during […]
Bipartisan Parmesan: The Cheesy Side of Politics – Lever No. 6
“I promised everyone who campaigns for me will get a big ass bottle of Bacardi. Just use my very clever hash tags, #GotRum and #TrumpsRump or keep drinking until I look like a real Presidential […]
The Elephant in the Room
“I’m like an elephant, I never forget,” said Donald Trump. “If I remember seeing thousands of Muslims cheering in Jersey on 9/11, who’s to say it didn’t happen? You can’t fact-check memory!” “Yes, but you […]
Pfizer, Allergan Merge: Promises Boners with Less Wrinkles
Viagra maker, Pfizer, is merging with Irish pharma giant Allergan, maker of Botox. This is a marriage straight from petri dish heaven, two companies cashing in on a desire to turn back the clock. Or […]
Witch Gets Restraining Order Against Warlock
Here’s a belated Halloween story that will restore your faith in America’s legal system: In Salem, Massachusetts, a witch was granted a restraining order against a warlock! Lori Bruno, 75-year-old Salem witch (above) sued 45-year-old […]
Boehner’s Miracle Cure
“It was nothing short of miraculous,” John Boehner said of his private meeting with Pope Francis. “With a touch of his hand, I felt cleansed of years of rolling around in the muck of Congress.” […]