Tag: humoroutcasts
Unicorn Bites 11/1/13
The legal drinking age should be however old you are when you realize life sucks. That’d be 12 for me. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 1, 2013 I’m sick of people being underwhelmed […]
Divine Proof
Archeologists scour the deserts of the Middle East for years, looking for proof of God. Some people go through the Bible, line by painstaking line, looking for things that are happening today that were foretold […]
Unicorn Bites 10/31/13
Craigslist killers are old news. I only fear murderers on Pinterest. They’ll turn your skull into a decorative centerpiece. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 31, 2013 In my state, it’s legal to own […]
Maybe Jesus Needs to Take the Wheel
Eleven percent of drivers admit to having sexual relations behind the wheel. What wheel? The Ferris Wheel? Because if it’s a car wheel, then I have to assume that the cirque de soleil people have […]
NASA Discovers Another Planet, Determines It Sucks Just Like the Others
NASA has announced the discovery of yet another planet within what they refer to as the “habitable zone”, the range of distances from a star where the surface temperature of an orbiting planet might be […]
I Like What?
Did you know that people who fail to close the lid on the toilet seat don’t go to hell? Nope, they bypass that step, get reincarnated, and then land jobs in advertising. But they get […]
Halloween Jagoffs (Part Deux!)
Before I start, remember that kid Halloween gag: Tell someone to hold their tongue and say, “My dad sells SHIPS down at the SHIP yard.” Gather yer pillow cases, its time for trick-or-treating!!! A […]
Unicorn Bites 10/30/13
I’m curious what it’s like to get enough sleep. Not curious enough to go to bed earlier, but if someone did a study, I’d read about it. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 30, […]