Unicorn Bites 11/7/13
My hobby is convincing little kids to say, “Last night I played with the little boy who died in our house.” So far I’ve made 2 families move — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November […]
Tag: humoroutcasts
Unicorn Bites 11/6/13
My 3-year-old said, “Daddy, I’m going to poop today!” Life is more exciting when you have big plans. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 6, 2013 Don’t bother trying to cheer me up, chipper […]
Hallmark Gets Stuck with Tacky Holiday Sweater
Controversy has found its way to the door of Hallmark. Yes, the company that brings us greeting cards that require me to take out a small second mortgage to purchase one, is in trouble with […]
Unicorn Bites 11/5/13
Women admit they can synch up their periods but still claim they don’t practice witchcraft. You can’t have it both ways, ladies. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 5, 2013 Short hair on a […]
Unicorn Bites 11/4/13
Me: Will you ever stop loving me? Wife: I didn't know I ever started. Then we high-fived and went back to not speaking to each other. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 4, 2013 […]
Area 51 and the Kardashians
The Kardashians went on a special family expedition to Area 51 in search of aliens. According to an anonymous source, the family was terrified in the secret facility when they discovered unearthly beings staring at […]
My Big Prediction
I enjoy making predictions. For instance, whenever I attend a wedding I always try to predict what song will be played during the bride and groom’s slow dance. I usually pick either Beast Of Burden […]
Lost in Space with George Clooney? Why I’m Having Second Thoughts
I loved the feature film Gravity and must confess that being stranded with George Clooney wouldn’t be a problem. But immersed in Gravity, I couldn’t help but have a few sci-fi flashbacks. That’s when I […]
Equine Author Noah Vail and his Human Muse Mary Farr Win Three Book Festival Awards
We love to shout out the accomplishments of HO writers and this one is definitely one the “Neigh” about. Read below about Mary Farr and her equine voice Noah Vail. Congratulations Mary on your wit, […]
Unicorn Bites 11/2/13
Coworker: I ordered pizzas for the office. Me: I love you like a brother. Him: They’re all vegetarian Me: I hope you die of face herpes. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 2, 2013 […]