Cutting Off His Best Assets
This is what happens when you don’t think with your head –or at least the right one . In China, a man depressed about his love life took drastic action to permanently fix his situation. […]
Tag: humoroutcasts
If you can’t afford a vacation, send your stressed-out stuffed animal on one.
Let me just start by saying, I love Japan. They consistently make life interesting, with things like girlfriend-hugging coats, which earlier in 2013 occupied more of my thoughts than any robotic outerwear should. And now they’ve done […]
Can You Score A One Night Stand From Your Halloween Costume?
Let’s be honest here, if you’re single on Halloween, you probably want your costume to get attention. There’s no way you’re painting your hair green and making your face look like Snooki’s period if you […]
Unicorn Bites 10/29/13
When I see the frazzled parents of a newborn, I tell them, "Don't worry. It gets easier." Then I laugh maniacally for 20 minutes. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 29, 2013 Me: "That’s […]
Just Promote A Credit Card Or Something
I’m sitting in a bar and waiting for a friend who’s running late. On the TV overhead I watch some sort of sports show. A famous former heavyweight boxer grins before the camera with a […]
Fang Festival Follies
(Kids. Candy. Corpses. Career politicians. Okay, no corpses.) Well, here in my neighborhood, we’ve all managed to survive yet another pagan-based festival. You know the occasion – the one where diminutive, oddly-dressed strangers coalesce in […]
Unicorn Bites 10/27/13
I’ve never hung up garlic to ward off vampires, but I’ve been known to leave beef jerky lying around to scare away vegans. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 27, 2013 Me: “Did you […]