I am a criminal and I deserved to be punished.
I am a criminal. I am a criminal and I deserve to be punished. My crime was heinous. I ask for no mercy. Were I to sentence myself, I would throw the book at me […]
Category: Fiction
Hawaiian Salad and Mongoose in Bikinis
Hawaiian Entree HAWAIIAN SALAD INGREDIENTS 6 eggs 1 chicken breast 1 12 ounce can SPAMTM 1/4 head lettuce 1 tablespoon brown sugar 1 cup pineapple juice* ½ cup cheddar cheese 1 cup mayonnaise 1 cup […]
Instant Novel Writing
In the old days, novelists used to aspire both to literary greatness and to popularity, a/k/a fame and wealth. This means their novels had to have plots, as well as Great Writing. Nowadays, “literary” novelists* […]
Meet the REAL Noah Vail- A legend in his own mind
Something irregular occurred over the winter. We horses have morphed into one color—bay. It’s as if I enrolled in a genetic research project that advanced earth tones. Adding to these shades of sameness, a dozen new […]
Close Call
Oregon is one of two states where you can’t pump your own gas. When you pull into the station, an attendant asks how much gas you want, takes your card, and then pumps your fuel. […]
But you didn’t have to cut me off!!!
Well this has never happened before. The entire collective is in agreement. Bill Y, Jill Y, our imaginary son and daughter, Thirsty Dave, Scurvy Jane and Sugartastic Daddy John all have the same favorite song. […]
Local Man Starting to Suspect 30 Minute News Report on ‘Ab Killer’ Might Be A Commercial
Local man Dylan Colson, watching television far past 2:00am, is starting to seriously suspect that the hard-hitting news program which features earnest reporters discussing the ins and outs of the “Ab Killer” might not actually […]
The Guy Scaring The Bejeesus Out Of Safeway
You’ve probably seen this ad online. At first I didn’t watch the video because I figured I’d get flooded with computer viruses (like I did last week). But I was curious about something — if grocers […]
Buying a Printer Cartridge – Like Playing Bingo
Is anyone else TOTALLY confused when you go to purchase a refill printer cartridge? Honestly, I had so many numbers in my head I felt like an air traffic controller when I walked into Office […]