Posts Tagged ‘ science ’

Unicorn Bites 11/27/13

November 27, 2013
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My wife has a catchphrase. It’s “no.” — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) November 27, 2013 “No, I can’t ‘make’ time for you. Time can’t be created or destroyed. LEARN SCIENCE, MOTHER FUCKER.” That Jehovah’s Witness never…

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Unicorn Bites 10/13/13

October 13, 2013
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Unicorn Bites 10/13/13

Me: "Brush your teeth." 3-year-old: *lowers her heart-shaped sunglasses* "I can’t, daddy. I’m too busy being cool." I know when I’ve lost. — James Breakwell (@XplodingUnicorn) October 13, 2013 Using profanity doesn’t prove you have…

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Future Research

August 12, 2013
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Future Research

You know those nasty research projects done using chimps? Some guy with a Phd sits in a secret lab and feeds nothing but Big Mac’s to a chimp. And when the poor creature bloats out…

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The Anthropologist’s View of Twitter

August 11, 2013
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The Anthropologist’s View of Twitter

Anthropologists in the future are going to have their work cut out for them trying to figure out what was really going on in this generation. On Twitter alone, there are 400 million Tweets per…

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Fox News Study: Male Lions Depressed By Constant Sex and Relaxation

June 3, 2013
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Fox News Study: Male Lions Depressed By Constant Sex and Relaxation

Nearly 96% of all male lions are clinically depressed, says a new study by Fox News’ new biology research wing. Their sadness stems from the fact that their only familial responsibilities include sleeping all day,…

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What Lurks in our Belly Buttons and Armpits?

February 26, 2013
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What Lurks in our Belly Buttons and Armpits?

According to real, legitimate  researchers, our belly buttons and our armpits are rainforests of bacteria.   I have two comments on this research topic:  First: That is disgusting. And second: what makes scientists select belly buttons…

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New Discoveries About Human Evolution

February 23, 2013
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Scientific theories arrive, gain acceptance, and eventually get disproved. At one point in time doctors believed that bleeding a patient would help rid them of a disease. But once enough people bled to death, the…

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New Math Formula Points to the Size of a Man

February 6, 2013
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New Math Formula Points to the Size of a Man

I’m not sure exactly how to segue gracefully into this topic, so I am just going to jump right in, and here it goes: It seems that researchers in South Korea have come up with…

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Do Science at home

Despite my early interest in Science, I never became a Scientist. Jill Y on the other prehensile is a Scientist. She has the brains, the looks and the beauty to be a box maker yet…

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Gravy Bombs

August 14, 2012
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I hope scientists are working on a gravy bomb just in case we ever get into a war with Turkey. Kevin WooleryMostly untrue stories, and rants from an aspiring stand-up comedian, and comedy writer. Born,…

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