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HO– USE FOR SALE: This elegant beauty has it all: 8 bedrooms, 10 baths, a movie theater, bowling lanes, and an Olympic-sized indoor swimming pool. It even has a separate sauna where your girlfriend and […]
The Place to Take a Humor Break
ANNANDALE, VA – The prestigious Thomas Jefferson High School for Science and Technology, ranked the #1 school in America by many publications, has recently come under fire for its several years old diversity policy, decried […]
On Sunday, Pope Francis released doves of peace in St. Peter’s Square. As the doves flew away, a seagull and a crow attacked them. Sometimes irony can be hardcore.
I’m a sorry excuse of an individual. Back in the day, my dog and I used to bark at those hipsters with their complete lack of understanding of irony. Slim Shady would bark “get out […]
3-year-old: Daddy, what is your job? Me: I sit in a cubicle all day and try not to be sad. 3: Apparently I was supposed to lie. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 27, 2014 *1-year-old […]
My father never saw the good in people. Then one day he chopped off my hand with his lightsaber and it all changed.
One minute you’re questioning life and wondering if you’re as random as the next guy isn’t and then your imaginary son goes and does you proud:
Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2014 Sure, random teenager, you have swag, but only if “swag” means […]
Ways to compare Justin Beiber and Macauley Culkin 1) Same height and weight 2) One has a lot of hair on his head, the other slept in Michael Jackson’s bed 3) One dated Mila Kunis, […]