The Unbelievable Things
I found myself in a situation, not to my liking. My eyes bounced off the walls and refused to acknowledge what was happening before them. Often I tell people about unbelievable things because unbelievable things […]
Unicorn Bites 11/30/13
My 3-year-old daughter said, “Daddy, can you please go away now?” She’s already turning into her mother. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November 30, 2013 How many fucks I give is directly proportional to […]
Get Some Talking Vaginas in Your Life
OMG, did someone say “vaginas”? Okay, you can all get that horrified look of “Oh no, she didn’t just say that word.” Actually, I’ve been saying it a lot, lately, because my alter ego has […]
No Kitty Noses in the Banana Bread!
Dear Cat: 1. Cats cannot taste sweetness in food. Your taste buds are not built that way. Mine are. 2. Cats don’t like bananas. 3. Therefore, cats do not like banana bread, which is sweet […]
Post Thanksgiving Thoughts
During my Thanksgiving trip to the East Coast I read a story about people trying to get accepted into the Mayflower Society. To join this esteemed and rarefied club you need to be able to […]
Life is too short for this.
I didn’t think it was funny. I didn’t think it was funny at all. I didn’t think it was one bit funny at all, at all. I believed her. I believed the words that she […]
Unicorn Bites 11/29/13
When I hear about shoppers who die on Black Friday, I worry because my mom is out there right now & she’s probably the one who killed them. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) November […]
Saudi Cleric Says Women Driver Ban Keeps Evil Out
A Saudi cleric said that the ban against female drivers will keep evil from entering their society. One of the cleric’s wives was disappointed in her husband’s views saying, “Wow, I missed one red light […]
Eagles Turn Gators into Boots
EAGLE TURN GATORS INTO BOOTS Sometimes, cupcakes will choke you. Florida’s late season little cupcake, Georgia Southern, proved to be more than the Gators could swallow. Georgia Southern accepted $ 550,000 to test their team […]
Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please forgive me for my lack of judgment when I sent my diabetic friend home with all of the leftover pies, cookies and cakes from Thanksgiving dinner. She said she would call me […]