Vodka and the ’90’s!
Today would have been my mother-in-law, Marie’s 99th birthday. In honor of all our great and hilarious times spent together, here is my tribute to a great party gal! Please click on the link to […]
Today would have been my mother-in-law, Marie’s 99th birthday. In honor of all our great and hilarious times spent together, here is my tribute to a great party gal! Please click on the link to […]
At first blush, it seemed like my boss had done me a huge favor by letting me off early last week. What a great opportunity. I could catch up on some errands, do some banking […]
Misconception Number 1: Mommy is dying to put up all the decorations by herself. This is a common misconception. I know this because as soon as you open the box with the Christmas train in […]
Wife: Have you been drinking? Me: Wait, you haven’t been? Apparently we have very different ideas about how to chaperon this field trip. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 26, 2014 I wanted to get a […]
Doctor: Everything checks out fine Deb. You’re in great shape for your age. Me: For your age? Eh, thanks doc. Anything else or can I hobble out of here on my walker. Doctor: Hah, you’re […]
As someone who lives in St. Louis, home of Anheiser Busch, I’m quite the beer drinker. In all honesty, the two are not necessarily related. I would drink beer regardless of where I reside, but […]
Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2014 Sure, random teenager, you have swag, but only if “swag” means […]
It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2014 Me: I’m one card away from […]
Judge: Did you kill this man? Me: He said "j/k." Judge: That’s no excuse. Me: He actually said "slash." Judge: Not guilty. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2013 Sorry, bro, but this […]