Doing Shots With The Doc

Doctor: Everything checks out fine Deb. You’re in great shape for your age. Me: For your age?  Eh, thanks doc.  Anything else or can I hobble out of here on my walker. Doctor:  Hah, you’re […]

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Unicorn Bites 1/26/14

Jesus: Go forth. You are now fishers of men. Peter: *harpoons a guy* Jesus: Too literal, bro. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 26, 2014 Sure, random teenager, you have swag, but only if “swag” means […]

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Unicorn Bites 1/14/14

It’s amazing how the lowly potato gives us potato chips, french fries, and vodka. Get your shit together, every other vegetable. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 14, 2014   Me: I’m one card away from […]

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Unicorn Bites 12/10/13

Judge: Did you kill this man? Me: He said "j/k." Judge: That’s no excuse. Me: He actually said "slash." Judge: Not guilty. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 10, 2013 Sorry, bro, but this […]

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Friday Humor Devotional

Dear Lord, please explain to our dimwitted redneck neighbor that using plastic milk jugs as floating pool toys only works after you drink the milk, Amen.

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Man level = 1, 000, 000, 000

Maybe I shouldn’t have done it? Maybe I was wrong? Having said that, I’ve never been wrong about anything before but there has to be a first time for everything I suppose? Wait a minute, […]

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