When I was a teen, I had a friend who sometimes got me into … questionable situations. Case in point: One day he, I, and another friend were walking down the railroad tracks … And […]
John Adams, signer of the Declaration of Independence, Second U.S. President, and all around unpleasant guy, had this to say about America’s Independence Day: “It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shows, […]
Being married to a Brit has its ups and downs. They can be very touchy about the Fourth of July. They, for obvious reasons, are a bit stern about their loss and wish not to […]
As you know the holiday weekend is one where friends and family gather to celebrate and honor those who have served our country. Unfortunately, in order to celebrate together, […]
[firework goes off] 2-year-old: *screams in terror* Wife: She hates it. Pick her up. Me: I don’t hold communists. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) July 5, 2014 Today we’re driving across four states with three kids […]
In my sex tape, my wife says, “Not tonight,” and then I play “Mario Kart” for two hours. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2014 Me: Please be quiet. I’m trying to hear […]
Just signed a new insurance policy for myself. Should I worry that my husband asked me to pick up a tank of propane gas and fireworks?
May the 4th of July fireworks be louder and more colorful than your family fireworks which always seem to erupt when two or more of you are in the same room together. Enjoy the festivities […]