Save Blessings for Sneezes
“Have a blessed (pronounced blest) day”: the four words I never want to hear from a colleague, car mechanic—or gloved gastroenterologist on removing a 7-foot colonoscope from my caboose. When exactly did, “Have a […]
“Have a blessed (pronounced blest) day”: the four words I never want to hear from a colleague, car mechanic—or gloved gastroenterologist on removing a 7-foot colonoscope from my caboose. When exactly did, “Have a […]
4 y.o: Why do the Ninja Turtles have a fat head like you? Me: I don’t have a fat head. 4: Me: 4: Why don’t you know you have a fat head? — Exploding Unicorn […]
After several months of self-diagnosis, I have come to the conclusion that I have SchizoFriendia. Before I tell you my symptoms, I’d like to back up a bit and explain the root of this problem, which […]
It’s weird how when a woman says, “It’s up to you, honey,” it sounds exactly like “Read my mind or die, motherfucker.” — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 21, 2014 The worst places of no return: […]
Jill Y and I were talking. For those not familiar with this concept, it involves having a conversation with someone without text or email. I realize that this might sound radical but it is possible […]
Teen: You buy your clothes at prestigious boutiques Adult: You buy your clothes at the same place you buy your milk Teen: You purchase accessories for each outfit Adult: You figure your wedding ring […]
Married people and people with children sometimes say the darnedest things to single childless people… and by darnedest I mean – dumb, stupid, inane, insulting, ridiculous, and for a big finish let me whip out […]