It isn’t even a special occasion but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to get her flowers
It bothers me when she says I’m not romantic:
Flush Away Your Problems
If only solving marital conflicts were as simple as a flush away. But a body can dream. And my flight of fantasy knew unbounded heights when just the other day I espied a new app–at […]
To the (Gangsta) Squirrel Who Narrowly Dodged My Car Last Summer
Good Day, squirrel. This is a declaration of urban war. Your criminal actions last summer rendered my auto dashboard a Red Sea of neon warnings; and my two rear passengers screamed as if snatched by […]
Are They Really Different?
We keep seeing these stories about how different the rich are. You know, they supposedly ease through life spending their time doing highly civilized things. Foreign things, like listening to classical music at the Vienna […]
THE VITAMIN SHOP
My medicine cabinet looks like a nursing home has been secretly stockpiling drugs in my bathroom. Aside from all the necessities for a hangover (the three A’s—aspirin, Alka Seltzer, and Advil) and the usual creams […]
How Do We Approach The Stuck Zipper?
How we deal with a stuck zipper can tell us about how we deal with not moving forward. Years ago, my tailor, a 6 foot elder Ukrainian woman, former ballroom dancer, scolded me, “You have […]
Cat Owner’s Guide to Home Decor
Most people think that having a cat in the house means the end of a clean, clutter-free home. Allow me to prove those pretentious misconceptions wrong by sharing my own home decor advice that any […]
Surely Not!
There are three types of people in this world; those who are not afraid to ask the tough questions and those who are students. If I could choose to go back to any time in […]
Unicorn Bites 3/3/14
Me: *rotates spreadsheets 90 degrees* The tables have turned! Boss: Do you have any actual data in this presentation? Nope. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 3, 2014 South African Oscar Pistorius says he shot and […]
After Three Months, Elusive $8 Lottery Winner Comes Forward
SEATTLE – The elusive winner of an late December lottery drawing has come forward in Washington state, after spending much of the past three months not realizing that he had indeed won $8, officials said. […]