100,000 Men and So Little Time
A woman in Poland is attempting a feat that few before her have even considered trying. She wants to have sex with 100,000 men with each romp lasting 20 minutes. I don’t mean to be […]
Unicorn Bites 8/30/13
My friend: “I feel empty.” Me: “Then eat.” Him: “I mean emotionally.” Me: “Then eat.” Food: It solves everything. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) August 30, 2013 Me: “I don’t want to carry your […]
Your Kid Could Be The Next Disney Channel Star!
The Disney Channel is conducting a nationwide talent search to discover their next crop of child stars. In case any of you parents out there are thinking of taking your children to one of these […]
Labor Day Fashion Statements
Wonder how long it will take before my countdown-to-Labor Day white fashion frenzy gets me requests for meds and bedpans. #WhitePants
Dealing With Syria
When asked about bombing Syria, most Americans view the act the same way they view Donald Trump’s hair – they strongly disapprove. Polls show that Americans are tired of being the world’s policeman and they […]
Meet Frank Mucci, Author of An Incurable Disease:Memories, Observations and Ravings from a Baby Boomer Cub Fan
HumorOutcasts Press is proud to announce the release of An Incurable Disease: Memories, Observations and Rantings from a Baby Boomer Cub Fan by Frank Mucci. In honor of the big launch day, we present to […]
Fame came a calling, one fateful day but her terms were not to my liking.
Fame came a calling, one fateful day but her terms were not to my liking. I’m a man of low moral standing who shouldn’t be allowed to eat at the same table as you and […]
Six-Pack Abs Don’t Come in a Tube
Late night TV offers a myriad of products that usually target the over 65 crowd. I don’t know why this age group is awake at this time, but it seems to be their peak hours. […]
The Message
Hey Brad, It’s the middle of the night and I’m wide awake. I should go clean out the fridge or twist myself into some yoga poses, but I’m emailing you instead. How goes the search for Vivian’s birthday present? I think a handbag is better than hockey tickets, if you ever […]