Your Inner vs. Outer Age
My two-cent theory is that we each have two ages. The age you think you are, and the one on your driver’s license. The Inner Me says, “I’m 18!” The world is harsh when answering […]
Tag: aging
Setting Straight Some Stupid Ideas About Seniors
Everyone over 60 should retire so their jobs can go to younger people. Okay, listen up. This only applies to people who want to retire. In other words, those who hate the soul-sucking torture they’ve […]
The Absolutely, Positively Not Boring Woman
I just turned sixty-eight years old. Ailments are a major subject of conversation for people my age, because they are the most exciting things that happen to most of us. This can get dull after […]
THE VITAMIN SHOP
My medicine cabinet looks like a nursing home has been secretly stockpiling drugs in my bathroom. Aside from all the necessities for a hangover (the three A’s—aspirin, Alka Seltzer, and Advil) and the usual creams […]
The Old Woman & The Shoe Phone
I said it. Out loud. Without even thinking. And then once I said it, I couldn’t take it back. And instantly… I was old. WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE WE DIDN’T HAVE… Boom. There it […]
I’ve Got the Three Days From Now I’ll Be 69 Next Year I’ll Be 70 and Where Did My Life Go Blues
CUE: Piano, jazz trumpeter and torch singer, performing the sad song of all sad songs. This song makes other sad songs feel bad about themselves. Pretty good, the way I set the scene, huh? ME: […]
The Old Woman
The old woman walked onto the stage wearing her robe, pajamas, and slippers. As the patrons watched her climb the steps, they didn’t know what to think. Who was this old hag? She stood in […]
Baby Boomer Strikes Again!
Okay, listen up. My generation is blamed, castigated and/or praised for everything from loose morals to rock music to marijuana and LSD to health food and long hair. We are now being told that we […]
When I Was Your Age …
One of the things that I am determined NOT to become is a cranky old person. Okay, it’s easy to see why a lot of old people turn into curmudgeons. It can be hard to […]