Unicorn Bites 1/4/14
There are no awkward silences in my marriage. My wife fills them all with words. So. Many. Words. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2014 Wife: Am I emotional when I’m pregnant? Me: […]
There are no awkward silences in my marriage. My wife fills them all with words. So. Many. Words. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 4, 2014 Wife: Am I emotional when I’m pregnant? Me: […]
We’re all wondering how this Duck Dynasty phenomenon is ultimately going to end, right? I think I know the answer. But I’m not talking about the show itself, but what comes afterward. We’re talking the […]
And so, the inevitable, inevitably happens. The unflappable belief I have in my own brilliance, knows no bounds or so I thought. I know this sounds stupid but what if I’m not perfect? I did […]
I hit my wife’s ass with a wooden spoon in the hope it would lead to sex, but it actually led to a spoon fight that I lost. Marriage is hard — James Breakwell, Exploding […]
By Noah Vail, equine author extraordinaire It must be New Years because we all look like the Pillsbury Doughboy. Of course, Fortuna Farm residents make no claims to be svelte triathletes. Our favorite winter activities […]
If you’re like me, which might be a curse, you’re probably sick of getting traffic tickets for harmless actions. I’m not talking about the dangerous stuff like screaming through a school zone doing 90 mph. […]
The balloon guy couldn’t help notice that it was starting to become a common occurrence. He would do his gig, making animal shapes out of balloons, collect his fee and then he was robbed. When […]
My wife gives our 1-year-old constant love and attention. I gave her the sticker from an orange. Now I’m her favorite parent. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 2, 2014 Sir Mix-a-Lot: "I like […]
#12 – My Elf On The Shelf no longer has to outdo all the other freaking Elves On Everyone Else’s Shelves. My Elf is worn out and he’d rather indulge in a glass of Christmas […]