The Death of Bigfoot–Again
Let me start this off by asking the Bigfoot, or if you prefer “Squatch” people, not to send me hate mail. I am not saying I don’t believe in Bigfoot and I am not making […]
Year: 2014
A Sad Passing
We just ordered a SmartTV for our house, which will replace a big, thick Sony Trinitron that I actually saw in a photo in a New York Times article on e-waste. It was my TV […]
Unicorn Bites 1/6/14
3-year-old: *spreads her arms* I love you this much. Me: You love me 3 feet? I’m 6’2”. You love half of me. 3: Me: I GAVE YOU LIFE — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January […]
The Ten Commandments for Cats
1. Thou shalt acknowledge thy human as master, obey her in all things, and neither bite nor scratch thy master for as long as thou shalt live. 2. Thou shalt not make unto thee any […]
Rodman Will Take Shots in North Korea?
Dennis Rodman has declared his love for his friend Kim Jong Un saying the young dictator is just misunderstood and that his rape and murdering ways are just his way of running his country the […]
Diet Innovation
You know how it goes with diets. You stick with them for a while, but then buckle and crack open that bag of Funyuns. What’s the central problem here? Correct, you don’t really believe in […]
Learn how to count to seven, using my non-patented dog method
Back in the day, before I was a complete and utter, total loser, I was just a waste of space so yes, dreams do come through. I wouldn’t be one of those dependable people who […]
Unicorn Bites 1/5/14
In my sex tape, my wife says, “Not tonight,” and then I play “Mario Kart” for two hours. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 5, 2014 Me: Please be quiet. I’m trying to hear […]
One of those rare moments where things actually make sense.
It was one o’clock in the morning and Bill Y was thinking. Not a lot goes into this process and not a lot comes out of it. If I was to count the number of […]