Words of wisdom
Student skydiver to Jumpmaster: “If my main parachute doesn’t open, how long do I have to open my reserve chute?” Jumpmaster: “The rest of your life.”
Expect the Unexpected
Jeremy and his wife Miriam have been trying to get her pregnant since they were married four years ago. After visits to their respective physicians they happily discovered this inability to conceive was not due […]
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind.
Jill Y made me jump through hoops and I’m not talking metaphorically. She actually got hoops and made me jump through them to prove I love her. I love her now and I’ve always loved […]
Unicorn Bites 1/10/14
3-year-old: Why is your belly so big? Wife: I have a baby in there 3: Does daddy have a baby, too? The fat shaming starts early. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 10, 2014 […]
Proof Of God, v.5
It’s a mystery why humans are the only animal to struggle with their weight. Sure, you’ll occasionally see a cat like the one I saw down the street from my house — I walked by […]
Halloween Scariest
People think because I’m old and codgerly, I’m not up on current trends. But that’s not true. For Halloween, all the candy I gave out was crushed. See! That’s not the scary part about this […]
9 Effects of New Recreational Marijuana Law In Colorado
Lines were out the door on New Year’s Day at many Colorado marijuana dispensaries in the wake of the state’s new law allowing sales of marijuana for recreational use, and highly motivated individuals waited up […]
A Life Changing Crisis: Cottage Cheese
Every once in a while, something happens to you that changes the way you think, feel and eat for the rest of your life. My life-changing event took place when I worked for a private […]
Real Proud
And so we celebrate another day where Bill Y regales another tale of his imaginary son who will not grow up to be a failure. I say this with the type of optimism not seen […]
Unicorn Bites 1/9/14
Dennis Rodman: *goes to North Korea* *wins basketball game* *kills Kim Jong-un* N Koreans: You freed us! D: Nope *becomes new dictator* — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 9, 2014 I saw a woman […]