The Entire World Is A Jagoff When I’m Sick
I spent the past 2 days being sick. Given that, I have determined that there should be a law about making medication packages easier to open. Below is what I wrote while I was […]
Tag: humoroutcasts
Unicorn Bites 2/13/14
Wife: You never sweep me off my feet. Me: *sweeps her leg* It’s like she’s never seen “Karate Kid.” That’s her own fault. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 13, 2014 Wife: Would you give me […]
I give the couple in this David’s Bridal commercial a year.
Regarding weddings, I have two pet peeves. The first is people who do stunts during the nuptials, like dancing down the aisle and recording it or lighting their dress on fire. The second is people […]
Opera for People Who Don’t Like It
Those Crazy Germans In my last lesson, I mentioned opera plots and how they are reminiscent of lurid cable TV channels that specialize in re-enacted crimes. As an example, I gave the plot of Verdi’s […]
Shoot The Messenger
I finally know why Cupid carries a sack of arrows. It’s not to shoot unsuspecting victims and make them fall in love with each other – because that’s a childish and stupid concept – and […]
Unicorn Bites 2/11/14
Coworker: Today was perfect. Me: Was everyone in the office but me eaten by lions? Coworker: No. Me: Then there was room for improvement. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 11, 2014 An Iraqi terrorist in […]
The Gift of Joy?
Each holiday, I search the internet to help you in your quest to find the perfect gift. For this Valentine’s Day gift, I found only one gift because after stumbling upon this, I felt my […]
Unicorn Bites 2/10/14
Wife: What did I ask you to do? Me: Love you forever? W: M: Kill a man to defend you honor? W: EMPTY THE DISHWASER I was getting there. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 10, […]
Endless Debate
Recently Bill Nye (The Science Guy) debated Ken Ham, the head of the Creation Museum in Kentucky. The topic of debate was Creationism versus Evolution. Before the debate started Mr. Ham stated: “…the majority of […]