The Place to Take a Humor Break
The eulogy at my funeral will just be an awkward silence before someone finally says, “Well, the important thing is he’s dead. Let’s party.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 5, 2013 Dear motorcycle […]
My 3-year-old said she likes tea parties, so I made her sleep in the yard. We don’t tolerate politics in this house. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 4, 2013 If a guy […]
Just tell me we haven’t all been here: A guy in Arkansas recently answered his door and encountered a pair of Jehovah’s Witnesses. The two women persisted with their futile efforts at conversion until the […]
The guy who fixed the crack in my windshield was named Chip. Now there’s a man who achieved exactly what was expected of him in life. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 2, 2013 […]
Me: “There’s something in my shoe.” My wife: “What is it?” Me: “My foot.” I’m as amazed as anyone that she occasionally has sex with me. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 1, 2013 […]
Whether or not you care for the woman or her products, you’ve got to admit that Martha Stewart is one savvy businessperson. From a beginning as just another cookbook author, she’s managed to create a […]
Whatever, rich people with wine cellars. I don't need any fancy shelves because I store my wine in my stomach like an adult. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 30, 2013 My wife: “Get […]
Among all the hubbub in Congress, a huge story got almost no attention last week. An amazing thing happened in the Senate, but few noticed because it was filmed by C-SPAN (that station really needs […]
