No flowers for my wife
I don’t give my wife flowers. After only a few days they’re drooping, smelling and dead. I even hate the process of buying flowers. “What’d you do wrong?” guys ask, laughing. Ladies don’t say anything. […]
Month: June 2016
Rush Limbaugh Disproves Centuries of Science With Well-Researched Treatise
Recently during his radio show, host Rush Limbaugh unwittingly destroyed many centuries’ worth of evolutionary science simply with an offhand quip about Harambe, the gorilla at the center of the recent Cincinnati Zoo incident. Limbaugh, […]
You talkin’ to me?
So these stories about medical insurance could go on endlessly, but they give me such good material. My Mom called me a few days ago to tell me that she received eighteen EOBs (Explanation of […]
Weird Things You Can Do With Gin
If, like me, you are constantly searching for ways to make the world a better place, you may have stumbled across an article on The Daily Green website encouraging people to substitute vodka for harmful chemicals in a […]
If you see Leo DiCaprio hanging around here, DO NOT let him near either of these screenplays.
Accidents happen. When Thirsty Dave accidentally drank 164 beers in one night, he was not to know that he had one too many. The first 163 beverages went down without incident but #164 would forever […]
Don’t Leave These in a Hot Car
Why do cars get so hot in the summer? The thermometer in my car says it’s 75 outside, but it’s 500 in the car. That’s even hotter than my actual oven gets. Maybe I should drive […]
10 Signs It’s Time To End Your Amusement Park Visit
http://gty.im/480581072 Summer’s here. The commercials are starting to run, the ones where people are screaming with laughter while riding various roller coasters/water slides/parking trams. Those ads make amusement parks look crazy fun, don’t they? […]
Bacon & Chocolate Party: A Landslide Victory for De Lancey & Bowen
The polls are closed. The people have spoken. The final vote count is: Paul De Lancey – 19.5 – 78.0% Elmer Fudd – 5.5 – 22.0% Paul De Lancey and Candace C. Bowen will […]
Men caught between a rock and a hard place
Talk about the proverbial horns of a dilemma. Research suggests that marrying an intelligent woman helps protect a man from dementia. Another study, however, says that men are terrified of smart women. Don’t you just […]
There Are Some Who Don’t Even Try
Nope! Not a fake picture. Not a SnapChat filter that adds fake parking spaces around a car. The good news is, they got between the lines. The bad news is, all of the other 182 […]