Unicorn Bites 9/8/14
My mom: Stop making that stupid face. Me: This is my regular face. Mom: Me: Mom: Stop sitting where people can see you. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 8, 2014 4-year-old: The baby woke up […]
Tag: funny
Coming Soon: The Great Mall of China
The private equity fund Global Grabbit Investments has signed a deal with the Chinese government to convert The Great Wall of China into 5,500 miles of high-end shops and restaurants. Adjacent provinces are to be […]
Sideways….not a movie….a lifestyle
Some years ago, my husband suggested we go to a fancy dinner dance at the club. Yay! A new dress, nails done, hair done, pretty, pretty, pretty me. I began the day with a fresh […]
Unicorn Bites 9/7/14
I took my 4-year-old to a museum. Her favorite part was the sliding door at the entrance. Next time I’ll just take her to the grocery store. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 7, 2014 4-year-old: […]
Are you sure, Netflix?
We want our imaginary kids to grow up to be well adjusted mockers so we like to put on Sesame Street. Having said that, there’s only so much puppet watching you can watch so we […]
Historically Unpopular US Congress Scores Top Ranking in Global Study
The US Congress has been ranked as the planet’s number one dead zone in a new scientific study. Dead zones are places where nothing happens and no life exists. Previously, the Kakunda Cavern Lake in […]
Hurry home Jill Y. I made a salad.
I had a day off work so I decided to cook dinner. The problem with me cooking dinner is that I only know how to cook bacon. Jill Y, being a knower of this, told […]
Bad Artist Funny #3, Calculus
Well now you know. It’s not entirely easy. – Paul the Mathematician Check out my latest novel, the Christmas thriller, Beneficial Murders. My books are available in paperpack or Kindle on amazon.com, As an e-book on Nook or on my […]
Unicorn Bites 9/5/14
4-year-old: Can we trade in the baby for a dolphin? Me: No. 4: But a dolphin can do way more tricks! She makes a valid point. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) September 5, 2014 Me: Did […]
Whoever said life was easy, wasn’t John Wayne.
Education is important in the teachings of things and stuff. The story of how I got Jill Y to get me a Batman costume is as interesting as the sarcastic thoughts of orange squash but […]