The CABG Patched Chronicle

I haven’t been a hospital patient since I was in grade school. I remember the nurses dressed in white uniforms with pillbox hats looking like Jackie Kennedy’s bridesmaids. They were visions of purity, supplying drugs […]
I haven’t been a hospital patient since I was in grade school. I remember the nurses dressed in white uniforms with pillbox hats looking like Jackie Kennedy’s bridesmaids. They were visions of purity, supplying drugs […]
Wearing a mask is not out of hand. It’s a recommendation, not a demand. So be thoughtful of others, cover your face. Let’s stop spreading COVID all over the place. Your freedoms are […]
New York, NY – Consumers spend billions of dollars every year to give themselves and others a Merry Christmas. Although the largest percentage of money is for gift giving, a substantial amount goes to decorations, […]
I don’t do well at airports. There’s complete system overload just to get from point A to B. My official travel preparation begins with dirty martinis and Xanax. I’ve diagnosed myself with Air Travel […]
Six weeks ago, I awoke to find myself stuck to my living room floor covered in pine sap and tinsel. Two squirrels were giving me the stink eye and clutching their nuts. I felt shock […]
There are a lot of ways to die. Especially in the movies. You can be axed to death by an orc. You can be thrown to your death by Chewbacca or Batman. Shot by Luke […]
London – According to Royal Commentator, Sir Harvey Bristol Cream, Queen Elizabeth II escaped the country to Balmoral Castle, Scotland after her July 13 meeting with Donald Trump. Cream stated the Queen ordered a fumigation […]
Facebook Marketplace is wonderful to see the wreck of humanity up close and personal. While it’s fun to watch people trying to sell their old Daisy Duke denim shorts and slightly used hot roller sets, […]
Most people “ring in” the New Year. I, conversely, “run in” the New Year. For many years now I have participated in a New Years Eve run at a few different venues. Living here in […]
What people fear the most after speaking in public and being trapped in an elevator with Harvey Weinstein – is death. Tucked away in a compartment of our brain labeled “Denial” resides a black-robed figure […]