Dear Lord, please accept my deepest apology for my behavior at the Parish Picnic. When Father O’Rourke asked if there was anyone who’d like to make a lighthearted confession I stated that I’d replaced the […]
My ninth-grade English teacher was named Sister Mary Barbara, but for purposes of anonymity, I’ll call her Sister Mary Barbarian. She was the toughest, strictest, unyieldingest teacher I ever had—a member of the order the […]
Today I saw a car with a bumper sticker that said “Guns 4 Nuns.” I went to Catholic school for twelve years. Trust me. The last thing those sadistic penguins need are firearms.
http://gty.im/98539397 The public elementary school close to our house wasn’t good enough for the Minicozzi kids, according to our Grandma McNeely. They didn’t teach the Catholic religion there. So off to Catholic school we went.
A 1950s-60s Catholic school upbringing is like Superglue. It really sticks. (Sister Adolfa, wherever you are, please notice my clever use of simile. … Yes, Str, I know the difference between a simile and a […]
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
FADE IN on the sun setting over a perfectly idyllic small town somewhere in the Northeast, the comforting rays of light dappling the changing colors, the last golden hues reflecting off the many church steeples […]
Dear Lord, please forgive me for my Secret Santa blunder. When the church flyer stated that the gift should be suitable for adults I misunderstood. Tell Sister Mary Frances I really love the hot chocolate […]
I’ve looked long and I’ve looked hard and it seems like there is no part of society that I have not improved. I’ve helped massively confused fools, Swedish women, Nuns, Danish women, Ewoks, Norwegian women, […]
My onstage debut was unforgettable. I was Innkeeper No. Two in St. Joseph’s Elementary School’s Annual Christmas Pageant. That was the year that we First Graders were reenacting the Nativity as our part of the […]