The Place to Take a Humor Break
My youngest daughter wanted to color her hair. Brown. Remember brown, it becomes important later. My oldest daughter volunteered to do the coloring. She’s good at that kind of thing. (At least she was then–this […]
Dear Lord, please accept my deepest apology for my behavior at the Parish Picnic. When Father O’Rourke asked if there was anyone who’d like to make a lighthearted confession I stated that I’d replaced the […]
What’s your favorite horrible holiday childhood memory? One of my cherished unpleasant flashbacks arrive every year during Thanksgiving. First, a few facts: I was born a few days after Thanksgiving Day in 1961. At birth, I weighed […]
Friend: Are you coming to my mom’s funeral? Me: Is she gonna make her famous casserole? Friend: She’s dead. Me: Then I’ll pass. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2014 My wife’s favorite filter is […]
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Me: Now do you believe me? Wife: The fridge isn’t haunted. Me: Then who made all that ice? Wife: *walks away* Me: WHO?! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 6, 2014 Wife: How much do you […]
When an apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton’s head, I doubt he really said, “Aha, gravity.” What he really said was probably, “Fuck apples.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 26, 2013 Daycare lady: […]
I grew up in a family with three older sisters (and no brothers). As a kid I often found my hair being braided and my fingernails being painted. As a result, I never braid my […]
When I was in third grade, all I wanted for my birthday was the Deluxe Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven. I dreamed of owning it and cooking largesse meals for David Cassidy while the rest […]