Friday Humor Devotional
Dear Lord, please accept my deepest apology for my behavior at the Parish Picnic. When Father O’Rourke asked if there was anyone who’d like to make a lighthearted confession I stated that I’d replaced the […]
Tag: sisters
Post-Traumatic Easy Bake Oven Disorder
What’s your favorite horrible holiday childhood memory? One of my cherished unpleasant flashbacks arrive every year during Thanksgiving. First, a few facts: I was born a few days after Thanksgiving Day in 1961. At birth, I weighed […]
Unicorn Bites 5/29/14
Friend: Are you coming to my mom’s funeral? Me: Is she gonna make her famous casserole? Friend: She’s dead. Me: Then I’ll pass. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) May 29, 2014 My wife’s favorite filter is […]
Older Brothers Behaving Badly
I was asked recently, “What story had the biggest impact on me when I was a child.” My response was: My older brothers made me read a story when I was in second or third grade, […]
Unicorn Bites 3/6/14
Me: Now do you believe me? Wife: The fridge isn’t haunted. Me: Then who made all that ice? Wife: *walks away* Me: WHO?! — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 6, 2014 Wife: How much do you […]
Unicorn Bites 10/26/13
When an apple fell on Sir Isaac Newton’s head, I doubt he really said, “Aha, gravity.” What he really said was probably, “Fuck apples.” — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) October 26, 2013 Daycare lady: […]
Oh Brother
I grew up in a family with three older sisters (and no brothers). As a kid I often found my hair being braided and my fingernails being painted. As a result, I never braid my […]
An Easy Bake Love Affair
When I was in third grade, all I wanted for my birthday was the Deluxe Betty Crocker Easy Bake Oven. I dreamed of owning it and cooking largesse meals for David Cassidy while the rest […]