You Need to See Santa Claus Playing a Piano
We need to things that make us happy. Someone playing a piano makes us happy. Seeing Santa Claus makes us happy. Thus, seeing Santa Claus playing piano makes us very happy. Not only that we […]
Tag: Santa Claus
Misread News Item #2, The Earth
I misread the following news title today: “Earth Has Tilted 31.5 Inches. That Shouldn’t Happen.”– Popular Mechanics, July 13, 2023 I really thought for an instant that the sentence went as below. I was quite worried for […]
Wanda Wunder Wonders About Santa and Advertising
What are Santa Claus’ costs? It must cost a fortune to ship lathes and other tooling machines to the North Pole? How does Santa pay for the elves’ housing? Indeed, how does he pay his […]
Wander Wunder Wonders About Directions
How does Santa Claus find his way on Christmas Eve? Paul De Lancey, The Comic Chef, Ph.D. Check out my latest novel, the hilarious apocalyptic thriller, Do Lutheran Hunks Eat Mushrooms? It’s published by HumorOutcasts and is available […]
NORAD (North American Defense) Tracks Santa
https://www.noradsanta.org/en/map As of press time, Santa Claus was delivering presents over Tibet. How do we know this? NORAD (North American Defense) tell us . Why does NORAD do this? The official explanation (see below) is […]
Santa Claus on the naughty list
T’was the night before Christmas when I met my partner, Mary Darling, for our Christmas Eve shift in the City of Angels. “Merry Christmas, Darling.” The squad room’s halls were decked. “Feliz Navidad,” replied Darling, […]
Santa Claus Answers the Proust Questionnaire
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness? December 26th, some Preparation H, and a 12-year old scotch. 2. What is your greatest fear? Amazon.com 3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself? […]
T’was the Poem Before Christmas
I’ve been going through all the boxes of old paperwork in my garage attic—there were a lot of them—and I stumbled across one of my old columns. How old? Well, so old it’s never appeared […]
The War on Christmas: A Film by Ken Burns
It has now been over six and one-half years since the War began, and still no end in sight. It is a brutal war. One that pits brother against brother, elf against gnome, reindeer against reindeer, […]