Unicorn Bites 12/21/13
Thanks, lady at daycare who gave my 3-year-old a microphone for Christmas. Your anthrax is in the mail. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 21, 2013 Me: Santa is pretend, just like zombies […]
Tag: Santa
My Impossible Christmas List
Each year, I make out my Christmas list and I say, “Don’t spend a lot on me. Just get me something special.” Well, in case anyone wondered what would be special to me, here is […]
Unicorn Bites 12/9/13
My 1-year-old is learning to give a high-five, but she’s unclear on where her hand should land. She basically just slaps people in the face. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) December 9, 2013 I […]
Josh The Inquisitive.
Some kids don’t have an inquisitive mind. Josh is not one of those kids. In a world where communication is very much based on the ever-changing pulse of technology, Josh prefers to write letters, make […]
Santa Leaks
I was browsing Nordstrom’s online site for dresses and shoes. I signed off and then immediately signed onto my website Humoroutcasts.com and Facebook. There on both pages were Nordstrom ads that contained the merchandise I […]
Funerals to Die For
I just saw part of a show called “Best Funerals Ever”. In this episode, the family of the deceased hired a funeral planner to put together a Christmas-themed event complete with elves, a Gingerbread man, […]
Denise prays to God
Denise is a good kid. Like a lot of kids she’s going through that phase where she believes in Unicorns, Santa and God. Each night she goes to sleep, not hating the world and long […]
Local Boy Notices Lack of Christmas Visits For Non-Christians and Poor, Determines Santa Is Republican
After consulting with several other boys his age, local boy Christopher Jones has determined that although Santa brought him a nice haul of presents this Christmas, the big fat jolly man seems to be kind […]
Holiday Decorations: Photo #2
One day I will do a thorough psychological analysis of holiday decorations– from who thinks them up to who buys them. Until then, I’ll just post the “REALLY?” snapshots I’ve been collecting this season. There […]