Tag: Star Wars
From now on, all my remarks are off the cuff.
Until yesterday I didn’t even know what cufflinks were. Truth be known, until yesterday, I didn’t even know what a shirt was. When Jill Y explained what cufflinks were and that she was getting me […]
Roses are red. Violets are blue. If you love Star Wars, may the force be with you.
It doesn’t matter how many musicians Sugartastic Daddy John and I jam with. Over the phone, we tell them we play a sort of Star Wars v Empire Strikes Back music but nobody seems to […]
If I can lend a hand…
That I am not already brilliant at everything is a notion that is foreign to me. I’m not saying you shouldn’t try to improve yourself because you should but let’s not talk about you right now. […]
Unicorn Bites 4/18/14
Boss: What are you doing? Me: Sitting on a potato. Him: Me: Him: Me: Him: It won’t hatch into vodka. Me: YOU DON’T KNOW THAT — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) April 18, 2014 Wife: Put away […]
Unicorn Bites 3/27/14
Me: Do you think Luke Skywalker is hot? Wife: No, he’s lukewarm. M: W: M: W: M: W: If you tweet that I said that, I’ll kill you. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) March 27, 2014 […]
Unicorn Bites 2/2/14
Me: *puts 3-year-old’s hair in a ponytail* 3: Daddy, that’s fairy hair! I want to be a princess. I’m a terrible father. — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 2, 2014 Good call on the commercials, fancy […]
A Reading From The Book of Jovi
Time to peek inside the hidden depths of the mind of Bill Y. When I was littler, I asked Santa for the Millennium Falcon. This is what Santa brought me instead. Now, is it any […]
Unicorn Bites 1/8/14
How to pick up chicks: 1) Go to the bar. 2) Shout random “Star Wars” quotes. 3) When a woman yells back the next line, marry her. — James Breakwell, Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) January 8, […]