Mystery Movies for Hallmark?
Lately, I have been watching the Hallmark Movie Channel’s mystery features. In all these movies, murder comes a-calling to the smallest of towns and hamlets that dot the American landscape. And I’m not talking “Oops, […]
Tag: police
Shots After Midnight
In today’s news a man fends off an armed intruder using only his wife as a weapon. It was 1:00 AM when the man said he heard a loud crash then footsteps running towards the […]
Even a Mugshot Deserves a Bright Smile
Two Indianapolis-area men have been arrested in the theft of thousands of dollars of Crest Whitening Strips from several Walmart and Target locations. While the police were all smiles when they nabbed the bleaching burglars, […]
Undercover Cell Phones: The New Police Weapon?
A drug dealer in Tennessee is behind bars because of a confession he voluntarily made to the police—well, sort of voluntarily. This is his tale of woe. The alleged criminal was driving merrily in his […]
Worlds Dumbest Criminal Resume & Cover Letter
Finding work when you’re a petty criminal can be difficult! That’s why you need help from Dumbass Resume Writers. We help you by taking all your special talents and experience and writing a personalized cover […]
Billy Joel: Hostile Witness?
Billy Joel isn’t much help to authorities. He claims he didn’t start the fire, but provides no insight as to who did. I’m pretty sure it hasn’t always been burning since the world’s […]
Hate Crime Victim Relieved to Know Life-Threatening Attack Was Not Personal
Pat Anderson regained consciousness today after being moved from the ICU as a result of an upgraded medical condition. The patient was assaulted from behind by a group of three masked men while walking the […]
Lindsey Lohan Reads Book Quietly by the Pool, Heroin Underdose Suspected
Police have reported that yesterday actress Lindsey Lohan sat quietly and uneventfully all day reading by the pool. A heroin underdose is suspected. “Detectives have been all over this yard. We’ve talked to neighbors, the […]
Unicorn Bites 2/24/14
Detective: I found the murder weapon. *holds up kindness* Rookie cop: You mean she killed him with… Detective: Yep Rookie: *throws up* — Exploding Unicorn (@XplodingUnicorn) February 24, 2014 3-year-old: Do you have a mat […]
Heroin Dealer Exonerated After Revealing That He Only Sold Heroin To “That Dude From Nickelback”
The recent heroin overdose by beloved and talented actor Philip Seymour Hoffman has brought about calls for immediate action by authorities. New York City police have been furiously searching for the dealer who sold Hoffman […]